Nintendo World War
by Marioman174
Summary: It's the end of Nintendo World as we know it maybe. This is what happens when my mind starts to wonder, mostly in Math class. YAY! After so long chapter 2 is up! Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters (unless otherwise mentioned below), places etc. So stop bugging me and read.

Nintendo World War

Chapter One

One morning in the house of the Mario brothers, Luigi was in the kitchen making breakfast and Mario was asleep on the top bunk bed, when suddenly a loud crash was heard.

Luigi looked through the doorway to see a broken window and Mario (without his hat) awake on the floor. Mario's hat had been pinned to the wall by a flaming arrow lighting his hat on fire. Luigi ran over to a cabinet and grabbed the fire extinguisher. Using it Luigi doused the flames. Mario climbed up to his bunk and grabbed his singed hat.

Mario: Aw man, I just had it cleaned!

Luigi: Mario, forget the hat, who shot that arrow?

Mario: I don't know, the only person I can think of who knows how to use a bow and arrow is Bowyer…

Luigi: Who?

Mario: You know Bowyer, from Super Mario RPG. He had the Green Star Thing.

Luigi: Yeeeah…no one cares.

Link (from outside the window): Crap! I missed!

Link gets ready to fire another fire arrow.

Link's fairy (whose name changes all the time): Link!

Link: What!?!

Fairy: These are the Mario Brothers, they have no known weakness.

Meanwhile the Mario brothers decide to use this time to escape.

Link: Hey!?! Where'd they go? Grr, you stupid fairy!

Link, using the master sword, killed his fairy.

Link: Anyway, now to find the Mario bros.

Meanwhile at Peach's Castle

Mario: OK, what just happened?

Luigi: Well I'm pretty sure Link just tried to kill us.

Link (this time being followed by an octorok): I knew you'd come here! Idiots.

Mario: What's with the Octorok?

Link: I ran out of arrows, so he's going to shoot you.

Mario: Ok, Luigi distract him!

Mario runs inside of Peach's Castle, leaving Luigi with the crazed fairy boy.

Link: No matter, you've got no where to run!

Luigi: Well, you got me, would you like to shoot me now, or what until you get home?

Link: Shoot him now! Shoot him now!

Luigi: You stay out of this, he doesn't have to shoot you now!

Link: Well, I say he does have to shoot me now! So shoot me now!

The Octorok shrugs, turns and shoots a bullet into links face.

Link: …Ok, let's try that again.

Luigi: Sure. Would you like to shoot me now, or what till you get home?

Link: Shoot him now, shoot him now.

Luigi: You stay out of this, he doesn't have to shoot you now.

Link: A-HA! Pronoun trouble. You're not supposed to say 'he doesn't have to shoot YOU now', you're supposed to say 'he doesn't have to shoot ME now'. Well I say he DOES have to shoot me now! SO SHOOT ME NOW!

The Octorok looks at Link, then Luigi, then back to Link and shoots him in the face again.

Link: Ok, I'm going to try this from another angle.

Link walks over to the Octorok.

Link: Look, you're on my side right?

Octorok (in some strange language): Right.

Link: Luigi's on the other side right?

Octorok: Right.

Luigi: So if Link were me, what would you do?

Link: Yeah, your so smart, if I were Luigi, what would you do?

Octorok: Well, I'd do this.

Octorok looks at Link.

Link: Not again.

Octorok shoots him yet again.

Link: Why do I suddenly feel like a duck?

Link faints and falls over onto the octorok.

Luigi: Idiot.

Well, yeah, I'm done with chapter one, I got lazy so I decided to end it here. Why did Link attack Mario and Luigi? Why didn't Mario ever come back? And why did Sonic have to be added to SSBB? 66.7 of those questions can be maybe answered if you continue to read.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See last chapter

Sorry it took so long but first I got writers block and couldn't finish this chapter then I went on vacation and then I forgot all about this website.

Nintendo World War

Chapter Two

Luigi dragged Link's unconscious body over to the waterfall at the side of Peach's Castle. He was wondering if he should drop Link into the moat or not. But before he could decide Peach's Castle door opened.

Mario: Ok, Luigi. Sorry it took so long.

Luigi: Never mind that. Should I drop Link in the water?

But before anyone answered something shot a bullet at Luigi's nose. He turned around to see an army of Octoroks, Redeads, Choochoos, etc. all lead by Zelda.

Luigi: Mama mia…

Luigi ran over to the castle's front door, with Mario and Peach.

Mario: Wait here, I'll be right back.

Luigi: Not again!

Zelda: ATTACK!!!

But before anyone was able to attack anyone, Mario flew out of Peach's Castle wearing a wing cap, grabbing Luigi and Peach by the wrists and flying over Zelda and her army.

Luigi: So, Mario, where are we going?

Mario: Well, Zelda has an army right?

Peach: Yeah, so?

Mario: Well, obviously, we're going to get an army of our own.

Luigi: Then we should split up and all three of us could get different armies! Drop me off on Yoshi's Island.

Peach: I'll get Bowser, I have ways of convincing him.

Luigi: Doesn't he still think you two are married?

Peach: Nah, we got a divorce.

Luigi: Oh, ok then…

2 Hours later

Mario went to recruit Wario.

Mario: So, are you going to help us?

Wario: Hmm, can I keep any money we get?

Mario: I don't think it'll be worth too much.

Wario: Can I keep any treasure we find?

Mario: Wario, we're going to Hyrule the best treasure they have is a compass.

Wario: Can I, at least, have a cool team name?

Mario: Ok. But you have to come up with it.

Wario: How about… 'Super Wario's Awesome Treasure Team'?

Mario: You mean the S.W.A.T. Team?

Wario: The what?

Mario: -sighs- just pick a different name…

Wario: Fine…how about… 'Cool In Action' Team?

Mario: CIA, try again…

Wario: The…

Mario: If it has anything to do with FBI don't bother!

Wario: Fine…I'll figure that out later…

Mario: So are you coming?

Wario: Sure, but as soon as I find some other, better way to make money, I'm gone.

Meanwhile on Yoshi's Island

Luigi: So, apparently Link has secretly declared war on us. So we have to either fight back, or…

Some Red Yoshi: I'm hungry!

Luigi: …or die trying!

Some other Yoshi (SOY): Where's the food?

Luigi: What food?

Yellow Yoshi: You promised Free Food!

Luigi: When?

SOY: When you called this meeting!

Luigi: No I didn't!

Red Yoshi: Really? Oh, well then I'm leaving…

Luigi: Fine! Come with me and you can eat all the enemies we kill.

SOY: What kind of enemies will they be?

Luigi: Zelda-y-ish enemies…?

Meanwhile again

Wario: How about the 'Super Overall's Squad'?

Mario: SOS, taken.

Meanwhile again, again.

Peach: So Bowser, are you going to come?

Bowser: Maybe if you were my wife I would.

Peach: Bowser, let's just go. You can be a big baby when we win the war.

Bowser: No, I can be a big baby whenever I feel like it!

Peach: You stubborn jackass.

Bowser (sarcastically): Wow, you sure know how to convince someone to help you!

Peach: Look Bowser, I have my frying pan, in my back pocket. Do I have to hit you with 4 pounds of metal to convince you to come?

Bowser: You're wearing a dress, dresses don't have pockets!

Peach: Oh really?

Peach pulls her frying pan out of her back non-existing pocket.

Bowser: Who carries a frying pan around with them?

Peach: Someone who has to do this.

Peach raises the pan up in the air…

Bowser: OK! Ok…I'll come.

Meanwhile again x 3

Luigi: I don't know, bring a red watermelon, or something, and you can cook the meat yourselves.

Yoshi: But it has to be medium-well cooked or it doesn't taste good.

Luigi: Are you even listening to me anymore?

Link somehow finds a way onto the island.

Link: Now I'm the one who will get the last laugh!

Luigi: Dang, I knew I should've dropped you in the moat!

Link: Well it's too late, and look at what I've brought!

Link pulls up a Bazooka.

Luigi: HOLY CRAP!!! Look, Link, I-I don't want to have to go Looney Tunes on you again, b-but I will if I need to…

That's the end of Chapter 2. Well technically this is the end of chapter 2 but, oh whatever. Will Wario ever find a good team name? Will Luigi be able to out Looney Tune Link again? Will I ever explain why Link has turned evil?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Need I say this again

Disclaimer: Need I say this again? I don't own this stuff. Or any other stuff that relates to this stuff. I do own one thing that relates to that stuff but that is a different story.

Woo-Hoo update! This is getting to be like Christmas for me! Soon it's going to happen once a year! Now give me presents.

Nintendo World War

Chapter 2

Meanwhile on Popstar

Kirby was walking along minding his own business. When he spotted an apple tree.

Kirby (thinking): It's been about 2 minutes since I last ate, I'm getting pretty hungry.

So without considering the consequences Kirby inhaled everything in the tree, every apple a couple miscellaneous beehives and one yellow rat. This left the tree horribly off balance. Kirby began to get a tickle in his stomach and suddenly Kirby got electrocuted.

Kirby spit out the source of the lightning, it was Pikachu.

Pikachu: There goes the element of surprise, (Pikachu has been taking night classes on English, three times a week so he can speak English now, yay).

Kirby: Pikachu? What are you doing here?

Pikachu: I'm waging war on Popstar!

Kirby: Why?

Pikachu: Because I can.

Kirby: Really? How?

Pikachu: Because I'm awesome, now shut up!

Kirby: How're you going to make me?

Pikachu: With my army!

Jigglypuff marched in with Lucario and the Pokemon Trainer.

Kirby: That's your army?

Pokemon Trainer (PT): No.

Suddenly more than 5,349 Pokemon rushed out from behind the apple tree. Kirby walked over to the tree.

Kirby: How'd you fit all those Pokemon behind the tree?

Jigglypuff: Jiggly smart! Jiggly dig hole 2 foot deep. (Jigglypuff's only been taking English classes once a week).

Kirby: 2 Feet deep that would fit like one Pikachu, and…wait, what hole?

Kirby looked over, there was no hole.

Lucario: Regardless, it is now time for your demise.

Kirby: Looked at them…paused and then kicked the tree; the tree, which was already off balance, toppled over.

Pikachu: Oh, you smug little son of a-

The tree fell taking out Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Lucario and the Pokemon Trainer, along with 82 of the 5,349 other Pokemon.

After this Kirby ran away to King Dedede's castle.

Kirby: King…De…De…De. Pokemon…gone…crazy.

DDD: What in the name of me, your feared ruler, King Dedede, is a Pokemon?

Meta-Knight, whom Kirby didn't notice was in the room at first and I forgot to mention but won't go back to fix because I'm lazy, walked up to the King.

Meta Knight: Pokemon is Nintendo's second best selling game franchise, second only to Mario.

DDD: We're third right?

Meta Knight: No, I do not believe so.

DDD: Really? Hmm. Than where are we on the list?

Meta Knight: I'm not exactly sure but we probably aren't too high up on it.

DDD: Hmm, this Pokemon thinks he's better than us?

Meta Knight: It's a species, not a person.

DDD: …not for long…

Woot, that chapter's sucktastic level reaches beyond our mortal comprehension! Well, check back in eventually, I'm going to try to update more frequently, it's just so hard sometimes, you know writers block and all that.


End file.
